Monthly Archives: January 2013

Quarter Life Crisis

… anybody feel like they can relate? I’m looking for practical solutions here.

Some background: I think at some point in life -besides focusing on the wrong priorities- I made a bad career choice and am now stuck in a field I have no passion for and which doesn’t interest me at all.

The problem is I always felt pressured by friends, (especially) family and probably myself as well to excel in my “professional life”. Long story short this lead to me now being stuck in a pretty competitive field working crazy hours without any free time while being miserable (to put it mildly) every minute of it…. contrary to what I originally thought the money does not make it worthwhile, I don’t care about it or anything else for that matter anymore. This has resulted in me indulging in addictive and abusive behavior which has become rather worrying… I’ll spare you the details and customary self-pity.

The problem is that changing fields/ starting over would certainly mean a step back career wise. I worked too hard and suffered too much to get where I am now and I honestly don’t think I could live with giving any of it up. Quite the dilemma, innit?

Anybody feel the same or is this just some typical quarterlife-crisis-bs which will pass eventually?

 

Don’t do that. Don’t minimize your feelings about this situation any longer. That’s one of the reasons you’ve ended up in this situation….because you’re constantly trying to minimize it, rationalize it, ridicule it (or yourself), and all the while you’re dying inside.

Stop denying your feelings. Stop denying your inner voice that is trying to help you. Stop ridiculing and trying to make light of the situation.

I’m not going to tell you what to do…..I will however share my experience and my path out of a very similar sounding situation.

So I hated my job and literally had to force myself to go to work every single day. I put the alarm clock across the room because I would constantly oversleep. Ok…so I could go on and on describing that but just know that I was at a level of stress and frustration that makes one consider radical solutions….even suicide crossed my mind from time to time.

First thing I had to do was get real with myself. I had to stop minimizing my feelings and just accept them. This was hard to do and I felt strange but it was part of my process. It was like my mind was at war with itself….one part would say, “I want to do X” the other part would say, “Oh don’t be a wuss, just stop bitching and get to work.” Every time the ridiculing voice spoke up, I had to start telling it to shut up…..I know….sounds weird but it was something I really didn’t realize I was doing.

Next I had to answer the question, “if not this then what?” meaning if not this job, if not this company, if not this city, if not this house, if not this car, girlfriend, suit, whatever…..then what. I was trying to separate normal stress in my job from a deep sense of dissatisfaction with my life and job. I was also trying to start generating ideas about a future career/job…..because we all gotta eat.

Does The Media Feed Us Negativity?

If you think about it, news reporters grab all the negative things that this world has to offer, its converged into a news studio, compressed, and then all that compressed negativity is thrust thru your t.v screen. And I am like “am I the only one questioning whether this stuff is not good for your health or not?” , the negativity is extreme, you could just follow the off-topic forum for one day to see that the people are full of negativity.

So going back to the fundamental question: Are we raised/educated/media influenced to be negative. I would say yes. Hell I even know that as when I was a small kid my dad already said I would never amount to anything, I was raised by him saying constantly that I couldn’t achieve anything, which in the end made me believe that stuff what he said and that it was wasteful to do any positive effort to do anything, because I couldn’t achieve anything according to him anyway. Moreover he was always negative. Screaming, yelling and hating everyone.

In hindsight, it might have been his own emptiness of not being able to achieve anything that was being projected on me.

Anyway it might not be a good comparison but when I went to Japan for the first time, I saw that the Japanese don’t have this negative attitude at all. The gigantic buildings in Tokyo may have not meant anything to anyone who walked around there at that time, but for me it was the proof that positive achievements are possible. The many thousands of animations and electrical equipments that are produced , make me feel like a unproductive person. And I am like “where does all this negativity come from?”, why are we raised to curse, be angry and hating our fellow human beings?

I feel that America and Europe isn’t productive or positively raised. I mean what do we still produce? In Japan they still have this attitude of “we can achieve this!” This whole negative couch potato attitude culture we have here in the west in the end doesn’t amount to anything.

So my question to you is. Do you feel like you were raised negatively. What do you produce in life? And how do you feel the Media is influencing your life? And how has all of this influenced your outlook on life?

Try not to watch the news, especially local stations. In my city the news is nothing but negativity and it gets old. For some reason the media in this country thinks all we want to hear about is negativity. I believe for the vast majority of people in the USA we would rather hear positive things but there isn’t one news media source to my knowledge who presents this to us on a regular basis.

Our country would be much better off finding solutions to problems than dwelling on the negativity.

Like I said, our particular local news is 100x worse! It’s nothing but a daily mix of who shot who, what house or business got robbed, etc. Who cares! Yes, we know it goes on but we don’t have to hear about it three times a day on the news. Not once after these reports do they talk about “solutions” to why these things happen.