Quarter Life Crisis

… anybody feel like they can relate? I’m looking for practical solutions here.

Some background: I think at some point in life -besides focusing on the wrong priorities- I made a bad career choice and am now stuck in a field I have no passion for and which doesn’t interest me at all.

The problem is I always felt pressured by friends, (especially) family and probably myself as well to excel in my “professional life”. Long story short this lead to me now being stuck in a pretty competitive field working crazy hours without any free time while being miserable (to put it mildly) every minute of it…. contrary to what I originally thought the money does not make it worthwhile, I don’t care about it or anything else for that matter anymore. This has resulted in me indulging in addictive and abusive behavior which has become rather worrying… I’ll spare you the details and customary self-pity.

The problem is that changing fields/ starting over would certainly mean a step back career wise. I worked too hard and suffered too much to get where I am now and I honestly don’t think I could live with giving any of it up. Quite the dilemma, innit?

Anybody feel the same or is this just some typical quarterlife-crisis-bs which will pass eventually?

 

Don’t do that. Don’t minimize your feelings about this situation any longer. That’s one of the reasons you’ve ended up in this situation….because you’re constantly trying to minimize it, rationalize it, ridicule it (or yourself), and all the while you’re dying inside.

Stop denying your feelings. Stop denying your inner voice that is trying to help you. Stop ridiculing and trying to make light of the situation.

I’m not going to tell you what to do…..I will however share my experience and my path out of a very similar sounding situation.

So I hated my job and literally had to force myself to go to work every single day. I put the alarm clock across the room because I would constantly oversleep. Ok…so I could go on and on describing that but just know that I was at a level of stress and frustration that makes one consider radical solutions….even suicide crossed my mind from time to time.

First thing I had to do was get real with myself. I had to stop minimizing my feelings and just accept them. This was hard to do and I felt strange but it was part of my process. It was like my mind was at war with itself….one part would say, “I want to do X” the other part would say, “Oh don’t be a wuss, just stop bitching and get to work.” Every time the ridiculing voice spoke up, I had to start telling it to shut up…..I know….sounds weird but it was something I really didn’t realize I was doing.

Next I had to answer the question, “if not this then what?” meaning if not this job, if not this company, if not this city, if not this house, if not this car, girlfriend, suit, whatever…..then what. I was trying to separate normal stress in my job from a deep sense of dissatisfaction with my life and job. I was also trying to start generating ideas about a future career/job…..because we all gotta eat.