Becoming A Hobbyist

When it comes to photography, I know almost nothing.  Many of my friends are really into it and have these fancy hi tech cameras, but not me.  The only camera I have More »

Nice Place

There are a few places I want to visit and I think I’m going to do my decision process out lout here in this post.  There are also a people I want More »

Looking For A New Car

I’ve been thinking that I might want to look for a new car.  It’s not that I necessarily need one, but I kind of want one.  My car is great and everything More »

Learning To Surf Huge Waves (Or Small Ones)

I am a fan of roller blading.  Some people think that’s weird because it’s not really that popular but I enjoy it.  I’ve got a few pairs of blades and I like More »

Upgrading Our Home

My wife and I have decided it is time for us to move on from our starter house that we bought four years ago. We have slowly but surely outgrowing it and More »

Choosing a Ring

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, a lot of guys are going to be looking at rings for their girlfriends.  It can be intimidating to try and pick out a ring for the woman in your life, though.

I think you should have some knowledge of her tastes beforehand with regard to the ring. Be it asking her friends or sisters if applicable, then so be it…or browsing her Pinterest if she’s got one. OR if you’re not too concerned with a complete surprise, doing some window shopping with her to learn her likes/dislikes. I’d personally prefer my SO to do the research without my knowledge (asking friends, looking at my pinterest etc) because I’d like the element of surprise better then something you KNOW is coming at some future time.

I think the asking the parents permission deal is one of those things that’s case by case. If she’s close to her family and has a very traditional view of marriage and family then perhaps that would be are really nice touch to ask her parents beforehand. I would also venture that you should also have some kind of relationship with the family prior to this route too. I mean if you’ve never met her father and have very limited experience with her family in general, I might avoid this idea because its about that relationship and the “respect” of asking her hand and the family knowing and hopefully loving you and making a to-do about you asking them first.

Don’t be cliche about it either. Make it meaningful but not super by the book. Christmas and Valentine’s and Birthdays should be avoided as dates to ask. Perhaps the date you became an official couple, your year anniversary? Or if the date isn’t significant, then perhaps the location would be? Maybe the place you had your first date? Or had some really special memory or vacation together or some where that’s just special for whatever reason.

I like the idea of having others in on the surprise. Even if its restaurant staff, a hired photographer, a sporting event billboard operator, group of friends etc, to help make the moment memorable.

It all depends on your tastes.

Quarter Life Crisis

… anybody feel like they can relate? I’m looking for practical solutions here.

Some background: I think at some point in life -besides focusing on the wrong priorities- I made a bad career choice and am now stuck in a field I have no passion for and which doesn’t interest me at all.

The problem is I always felt pressured by friends, (especially) family and probably myself as well to excel in my “professional life”. Long story short this lead to me now being stuck in a pretty competitive field working crazy hours without any free time while being miserable (to put it mildly) every minute of it…. contrary to what I originally thought the money does not make it worthwhile, I don’t care about it or anything else for that matter anymore. This has resulted in me indulging in addictive and abusive behavior which has become rather worrying… I’ll spare you the details and customary self-pity.

The problem is that changing fields/ starting over would certainly mean a step back career wise. I worked too hard and suffered too much to get where I am now and I honestly don’t think I could live with giving any of it up. Quite the dilemma, innit?

Anybody feel the same or is this just some typical quarterlife-crisis-bs which will pass eventually?

 

Don’t do that. Don’t minimize your feelings about this situation any longer. That’s one of the reasons you’ve ended up in this situation….because you’re constantly trying to minimize it, rationalize it, ridicule it (or yourself), and all the while you’re dying inside.

Stop denying your feelings. Stop denying your inner voice that is trying to help you. Stop ridiculing and trying to make light of the situation.

I’m not going to tell you what to do…..I will however share my experience and my path out of a very similar sounding situation.

So I hated my job and literally had to force myself to go to work every single day. I put the alarm clock across the room because I would constantly oversleep. Ok…so I could go on and on describing that but just know that I was at a level of stress and frustration that makes one consider radical solutions….even suicide crossed my mind from time to time.

First thing I had to do was get real with myself. I had to stop minimizing my feelings and just accept them. This was hard to do and I felt strange but it was part of my process. It was like my mind was at war with itself….one part would say, “I want to do X” the other part would say, “Oh don’t be a wuss, just stop bitching and get to work.” Every time the ridiculing voice spoke up, I had to start telling it to shut up…..I know….sounds weird but it was something I really didn’t realize I was doing.

Next I had to answer the question, “if not this then what?” meaning if not this job, if not this company, if not this city, if not this house, if not this car, girlfriend, suit, whatever…..then what. I was trying to separate normal stress in my job from a deep sense of dissatisfaction with my life and job. I was also trying to start generating ideas about a future career/job…..because we all gotta eat.

Does The Media Feed Us Negativity?

If you think about it, news reporters grab all the negative things that this world has to offer, its converged into a news studio, compressed, and then all that compressed negativity is thrust thru your t.v screen. And I am like “am I the only one questioning whether this stuff is not good for your health or not?” , the negativity is extreme, you could just follow the off-topic forum for one day to see that the people are full of negativity.

So going back to the fundamental question: Are we raised/educated/media influenced to be negative. I would say yes. Hell I even know that as when I was a small kid my dad already said I would never amount to anything, I was raised by him saying constantly that I couldn’t achieve anything, which in the end made me believe that stuff what he said and that it was wasteful to do any positive effort to do anything, because I couldn’t achieve anything according to him anyway. Moreover he was always negative. Screaming, yelling and hating everyone.

In hindsight, it might have been his own emptiness of not being able to achieve anything that was being projected on me.

Anyway it might not be a good comparison but when I went to Japan for the first time, I saw that the Japanese don’t have this negative attitude at all. The gigantic buildings in Tokyo may have not meant anything to anyone who walked around there at that time, but for me it was the proof that positive achievements are possible. The many thousands of animations and electrical equipments that are produced , make me feel like a unproductive person. And I am like “where does all this negativity come from?”, why are we raised to curse, be angry and hating our fellow human beings?

I feel that America and Europe isn’t productive or positively raised. I mean what do we still produce? In Japan they still have this attitude of “we can achieve this!” This whole negative couch potato attitude culture we have here in the west in the end doesn’t amount to anything.

So my question to you is. Do you feel like you were raised negatively. What do you produce in life? And how do you feel the Media is influencing your life? And how has all of this influenced your outlook on life?

Try not to watch the news, especially local stations. In my city the news is nothing but negativity and it gets old. For some reason the media in this country thinks all we want to hear about is negativity. I believe for the vast majority of people in the USA we would rather hear positive things but there isn’t one news media source to my knowledge who presents this to us on a regular basis.

Our country would be much better off finding solutions to problems than dwelling on the negativity.

Like I said, our particular local news is 100x worse! It’s nothing but a daily mix of who shot who, what house or business got robbed, etc. Who cares! Yes, we know it goes on but we don’t have to hear about it three times a day on the news. Not once after these reports do they talk about “solutions” to why these things happen.

 

Hello, Texas

My wife and I are moving to Texas in the near future thanks to my job. I work in sales and am used to moving around where we live now but this will be the first time we have had to move out of state. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up so there was no real debate over it between us. She can find a job anywhere in her line of work so that wasn’t an issue either.

I did make sure that this would be a fairly permanent position before I decided to take it. I didn’t want to move down there and 5 years later be relocated somewhere else. I say that because we have been talking about starting a family and I wouldn’t want to move if we have kids. I know how that feels because I went to four different schools myself growing up. It was like I would be at one place and finally be settled in then it was time to go somewhere else and start everything all over again. I would never want to subject my kids to that.

We have been checking out homes in Texas.   The one thing I’m looking forward to is living in Texas being a Cowboys fan. I grew up rooting for them and have never stopped. One of the first things I did was look to see how far away their stadium was to the area we are moving to and it isn’t bad. As you probably know Texas is a huge state but we are only going to be like 2 hours away. I told my wife that we will be going to as many games as possible and she said ok. She isn’t really into football but will go and root them on for me. I am hoping that I can get some tickets from my job but haven’t inquired about that yet. It would be nice if they had a box or season tickets that employees could use. I would imagine those would be a hot commodity though.

Speaking of hot that is one thing that will take some getting used to. I know how hot it can and will be there and my body isn’t used to that kind of heat. My wife wants our house to have a pool and I agreed. That will definitely help having one of those.